The Wrong Song
A Strong Word
Kenny G
Write Me a Letter
Perfectly Perfect
Carolina Eyes
Call It the Blues
Beer Is Good
My Dog Don't Know It's Christmas
Love and Lunch
A Funny Kind of Blues
The Fault

The Wrong Song

I was wrong. As wrong as I could be.
I was wrong. Anyone could see,
I was wrong, and getting wronger with each word
I was wrong; somehow my rightness got deferred.
I was wrong, I admit it. Now can we forget it?
I was wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong.

I was wrong. (He was wrong!) As a 3 dollar bill.
I was wrong. (Very wrong!)And Iíll be wronger still
I look into the future, and what is it I see?
You being right. And me being me.

I was wrong. You deserve the credit,
I was wrong. It turned out just like you said it. Would.
Iím a doubting Thomas, youíre a freaking Nostradamus,
I was wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong.

I was wrong. Wrong, what could I do?
I was wrong. I thought Iíd write this for you
By way of recognition of my incorrect condition,
And to gracefully unmention my erroneous contention
That left me in this position of impressive imprecision
I was wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong.

I was wrong. But thatís the way it goes.
I was wrong. And wrongness never knows.
Now, Iíve learned my lesson. I regret my indiscretion,
I was wrong. I was wrong.

If Iíd known it wasnít right when I said it, (Incorrect!)
Then it would have been a lie, or at the very least a joke. (Off the mark!)
But I didnít and it wasnít. That should matter, but it doesnít.(Imprecise!)
I was wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong.

I was wrong. Wrong as I could me.
I was wrong. L. Ron Hubbard looks right compared to me.
I was wrong. There I said it. Now can we forget it?
I was wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong,

A Strong Word

I remember what I said, but I don't know what you heard.
You ask me if I love you. Well, loves a strong wordÖ

See, I've been looking all my life and you're the only one I've found.
And I don't think I'd be goin' out on limb if I told you that I'd miss you if you weren't around.
I can't imagine me without you, so I know it sounds a bit absurd,
When you ask me if I love you and I say "love's a strong word."

But if Romeo loved Juliet, and Rick loved Ilsa too.
If Eva Braun loved Adolph, who'm I to say that I love you?
See, I just can't live up to all the stories that I've heard.
Sure I need you desperately, but love's a strong word.

If Kathie Lee loves Cody, and Galahad loved God,
If Bing loved merry Christmases, and Abe loved Mary Todd.
If Pocahontas loved John Smith and Casey loved the bat.
If Tammy Faye loved Jim, now how can I compete with that?

If Sherlock loved a mystery. And fish love H20.
If JFK loved Jackie. And Marilyn Monroe.
If Julio loved Ernest, And Mowgli loved Baloo.
If Adrienne loved Rocky, and Bullwinkle did tooÖ

Then how can I live up to all the stories that I've heard?
Sure I need you desperately, but love's a strong word.

Kenny G

I've been avoiding elevators. Only taking stairs.
Keeping out of places where recorded music blares.
I don't feel safe in this world, and I haven't for a while.
Itís been a year since I've come near a single FM dial.

Turn off that radio- I don't wanna hear.
Turn off that radio, the danger's too severe.
I've heard it said a little bit of soul can set you free,
But I'm trapped inside a world with Kenny G.

Iíve got cocoa in my coffee, berries in my beer,
Kenny G. on saxophone, saccharin in my ear.
Let Clarence come and cleanse me. Ornette, set me free.
Save me from a world with Kenny G.

Wouldn't it be awful if each rich kid from Seattle
Bought an instrument and blew his way to fame?
You say there can't be many who can play it just like Kenny can,
With no appeal and nearly no last name...

I turn on my TV thinking he can't find me there.
I flip on PBS and retreat into a chair.
But my heart drops to my ankles, and a chill comes to my flesh.
Is that Kenny on my TV? Is that Yanni? Is that Tesh?

Turn off that TV show; I'm having a conniption.
Turn off that TV show; and cancel my subscription.
After all this evolution, after all this wasted time,
Have we only come full circle: to return back to the slime?
And our leader blows a sax. Pay the piper; pay the fee.
Returning to the ooze with Kenny G.

Wishin' I was somewhere else, wishin' I was deaf.
Wonderin' what they thought was wrong with Kennies A through F.
In event of an emergency, an earthquake or typhoon,
I'm the one guy in my area who won't know where to tune...

ĎCause I turned off my radio, I don't wanna hear.
Turneo off that video, the danger's too severe.
I've heard it said a little bit of soul can set you free.
But I'm trapped inside a world with Kenny G.

Write Me a Letter

I haven't heard a word from you in I can't say how long.
And if I was important once, that memory is gone.
Some people will tell you it's never too late,
But just how long am I supposed to wait?

I wish you'd write me a letter.
I wish you'd write me a letter.
I wish you'd write me a letter.
So I could throw it away.

Looking for some trace of you in anything I own.
You didn't leave me much at all when you left me alone.
A little hurt, a little bored, a little worse for wear.
And a little disappointed in a fight that wasn't fair.


Now Iím here without you, and all that I require
Is just a simple token I could toss upon the fire.
Iíd watch it fold, and watch it flash, watch it fade and then,
I would never miss or even think of you again.


Perfectly Perfect

I may not show up until I'm twenty minutes late.
Meet you at the baggage claim instead of at the gate.
Sure, I muff the little stuff, but I hug you til you're blue.
I might not be perfect, but I'm perfect for you.

You leave the toothpaste so the cap rolls on the floor.
You leave the lights on and you never lock the door.
It boggles the senses- how can this be.
So far from perfection, you're perfect for me.

You talk about stuff til my brain hurts my head,
Then confuse me with questions on what you just said.
Still, I'm enraptured with all that I see.
You might not be perfect, but you're perfect for me.

Well, I'm no classic beauty- still I'm weak in my knees.
And I'm not a spring chicken. Poultry makes me sneeze.
Sounds like you like me. You know that I do.
You might not be perfect, but I'm perfect for you.

If he did the math, Mr. Einstein would laugh
As the numbers grew bigger and bigger.
Two heads and two hearts, but the sum of our parts
Is dramatically more than a genius could figure...

I listen to your problems, I don't give advice.
Ok, there was that one time... Maybe it was twice.
But when things get too real; when push comes to shove,
I'll always pull you close, and whisper... yada yada

You're always there if I need a hand.
You listen & nod as though you understand
You might not walk upright like some fellas do.
No, you might not be perfect, but I'm perfect for you?

If your faucet is leakin', your stove won't ignite,
Your car won't start up, I'm yer white knight
Got a wrench, got a hammer, but you haven't got a clue.
Scott, you couldn't fix a sandwich. Maybe not, but I'll fix you.

A stroll through the park. Is something you're not.
A day at the beach is not what we've got.
You're no Sonny Bono. You're no Yoko Ono.
Hey Baby, you're perfect for me.
You're no short order. You're no Cole Porter.
Hey Baby, you're perfect for me.

Carolina Eyes

It's fourteen below in Aurora,
And my windows are covered with ice.
The snows up to here, like it is every year,
And the world wears a wintry disguise.

I used to dream of silver cities,
But I never dreamed the price
That I would pay just to live here,
Where every heart is hard as ice.

Take me back to Carolina 
Where I can see those summer skies,
And I can see my own reflection,
In your Carolina eyes.

The train that used to hold these tracks down
Doesn't run here anymore.
And the heart that once swung wide
Just stopped answering the door.

They say you don't forget your first love,
And I'm not forgetting you.
Even if you never can go back again,
In my mind, that's all I do.


Call It the Blues

While I wasnít lookiní, you came and you took
The one thing that I had to lose.
You tell me thatís life, but Iím not so sure,
Life is the word we should use.
Letís call it the blues.

If youíd had your heart broke,
Youíd know how it feels.
Beaten & battered & bruised.
They say that thatís love, 
But I donít believe love is the word I would choose.
Iíd call it the blues

Call it the blues, call it the blues
Scrape my heart off your shoes,
And weíll call it the blues.

Now you stand on my doorstep, streaks down your face,
Confounded, contrite and confused.
You call it bad timing, bad karma, bad luck.
Iíd call it bad taste and bad news.
Letís call it the blues.

Call it the blues, call it the blues.
If we kept score, youíd lose,
So letís call it the blues.

Beer Is Good

I don't wanna know the sad event that led you to forsake
Beverages of barley for the pleasures of the grape.
But I hear you sing the praises of your sulfite-laden mead,
And I'm thinking that a Heineken is all you really need. 

Beer is good. 
Beer is good.
Beer is good. Beer is good. Beer is good.

You can drink just what you want to, but the evidence is clear,
While your glass is filled with burgundy, your heart is full of fear,
And your elitist affectations cloak the fact you fear the worst:
That what truly lurks inside you is a fundamental thirst
For something liquid from the earth that fills you up before you're wasted,
And goes sliding down so frigid that you practically can't taste it,
The irony is bitter, and the tragedy is yours,
'Cause you're reaching for a merlot, but you really want a Coors.

Beer is good.
Beer is good.
Beer is good. Beer is good. Beer is good.

I would really like to help you, yeah, but what am I to do?
When I know it's true the only one who changes you is you,
But I can offer you direction, so your one true path is clear:
Quit yer whinin', quit yer wine 'n' quit yer wine 'n' have a beer.

Beer is good.
Beer is good.
Beer is good. Beer is good. Beer is good.

My Dog Donít Know Itís Christmas

My dog don't know when it's Christmas
Despite the gift-wrapped chew toys 'round the tree.
You got the dog-star up above, poodle skirts and puppy love,
But there ain't no canine Christianity.

He knows not to piddle on the carpet,
And he knows when he must go to the vet.
He understands a Milkbone and he comprehends a snow-cone,
Yeah, but Jesus is a concept he don't get.

My dog don't know when itís Christmas.
How could any creature be so naive?
But despite his passivity, re: the nativity
If the lord was a shepherd, he'd believe.
Despite his proclivity to dis the nativity,
If the lord was a shepherd, he'd believe.

Love and Lunch

I haven't had a vegetable since April.
I haven't had a glass of milk since 1992.
I've got a big old bowl of chips upon my table,
A jumbo tub of cheese dip, and a photograph of you.

Ever since you left me, all I want to do is eat.
Something crunchy, something caramel, something crass or something sweet.
Something chocolate, something cheddar,
And the worse it is, the better,
Baby, I don't eat my heart out- I just eat and eat and eat.

I'm eating to remember, I'm eating to forget.
I'm eating to replace you, 'cause I'm reeling from regret.
I eat because I'm hungry, now my sustenance is gone.
Love is fleeting- lunch goes on and on.

I can't live in this cold world without you.
I can't keep up appearances or hide my desperate woe.
They tell me it'll kill me, but they never tell me when,
It's a tortured, but a tasty way to go.

You might say it's a weak excuse to let myself get fat.
Some might call it suicide; I couldn't argue that.
Ho-Hos are my hemlock. Didn't poor Ophelia drown
From a mixture made of teardrops and a case of Royal Crown?

Some folks lose their appetite when love walks out the door.
Me, I lose all sense of portion, and I just eat more and more.
It's a bitter pill to swallow, that you're never coming back,
But load it up with cream cheese and it's just another snack.

Iíll eat til I forgive you; Iíll eat til I forget. 
Pass the M&Mís. Pass the Oreos. Food is love.
Iím eager to erase you, but it hasn't happened yet. 
Pass the Haagen Dazs. Pass the chocolate sauce. 
I eat because I miss you and besides, the food's not gone.
Love is fleeting- lunch goes on
Love is fleeting- lunch goes on
Love is fleeting- lunch goes on and on.
Whatís for desert?

A Funny Kind of Blues

I like the way she looks at me, I like the way she laughs,
And I ain't shallow, but I kinda like the way she photographs.
I like the way her voice is in the middle of the night,
And I don't doubt I don't deserve her, or to linger in the light.
It kinda mystifies me how it's not the same old pain-
I don't know what it is, but you won't hear me complain.

Cause it's a funny kinda blues that opens up your heart.
It's a funny kinda blues that don't rip you apart.
When everything is fine and you just can't seem to lose,
And you sit down and write a song,
You get a funny kinda blues.

That dread that always hounds me isn't nipping at my heels,
And I've been drifting where the calmer waters flow.
I ain't never been happy, so I don't know how it feels.
Now it seems I ain't been livin'- only dyin' kinda slow...

It's a funny kinda blues that don't attack your mind,
And lay just like a feather on your chest.
It's a funny kinda blues that writes to you at home
And doesn't wish you nothing but the best.
It's the last thing you expected, it's the last thing you'd refuse,
Maybe you're blessed, maybe you're blind, but it's a funny kinda blues.

[Repeat 1st Verse]

But it's a funny kind of blues that makes you smile.
That leaves you with a grin upon your face.
It's a funny kind of blues that takes a broken heart away,
And leaves a whole one beating in its place.
When thereís nowhere that you'd rather be than standing in your shoes,
And everything seems funny, that's a funny kinda blues.

The Fault

You broke my heart. You broke my spirit.
You broke my blender, now what'll I do?
I needed a friend and you're nowhere near it
Now I just need a drink and you ruined that too.

If it wasn't for love, I'd be happy.
If it wasn't for pain, I'd feel just fine.
If it wasn't for wine, I wouldn't be laughing-
If it wasn't for blame, the fault might be mine.

I live in a haze of pointless confusion,
And sort through the days with a knife and a pen.
Each time I get close, I lose the illusion,
Alex, what did you say was the answer again?


I beat on the door but nobody answers,
I ring up the phone but nobody's home.
And no one's surprised when nobody answers
Cause this place is mine and I live here alone.